


5 times Emily spoke to Jesse in her Love Language, and 1 time Jesse responded in her own

by SeventhStrife



Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aromantic Bisexual Jesse Faden, Developing Relationship, Don't copy to another site, Emily Pope Is A Ray Of Sunshine, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jesse is PINING, i will die on this hill, no beta we go to turbo hell like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29677494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeventhStrife/pseuds/SeventhStrife
Summary: The Oldest House is an endless, shifting place. There's no such thing as permanence, no reassuring constant that isn't eventually obliterated.Except for Emily Pope, who's very nature seems to be unshakeable faith and unwavering support. Without realizing it, Jesse's axis slowly shifts to pivot around Emily, uses that point to tether her and Polaris to the closest thing to home she's ever known when the Oldest House verges on swallowing them whole. And as time passes and that fixed point doesn't falter, Jesse finds something of herself there, too.
Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SandpiperBand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandpiperBand/gifts).



Words are Objects of Power, all on their own. Before, when all she had to cling to was a faceless boogeyman, the one that swooped in and stole her brother, words were all she had.

_We're here to help. You aren't safe. Take us to the slide projector._

All of these serious, shadow-eyed adults who appeared as if from nowhere, choosing each word with care, the space between each one screaming with secrets left unsaid. They hadn't left so much as a hair behind, but the things they'd said were the only proof she needed. 

How had they known to come? What did they want with them? Why did they take her brother? All she knew for sure was that they'd wanted the slide projector, and they'd wanted _them._

Everything they'd said had been memorized and clung to in the long hours of the night, when stress and constant paranoia and gnawing guilt had kept her awake. _They were there, in Ordinary. They said those things. I know they did. I know they did._

Once she'd decided to stop wasting her time on therapy and trying to fit into a world that thought of her as a freak, she finally understood the power of words when she no longer subjected herself to their constant battering. No more, _it's all in your head, Jesse._ No more, _perhaps the abandonment issues you harbored for your parents forced you to create this false narrative to cope, Jesse._ No more, _it's only a matter of time before we find the meds that work for you, Jesse._ When she finally struck out on her own, stopped pretending she had a future with those people, things were easier. Not better, but easier. It was just her and her thoughts, and while she was rarely good company, scared and isolated as she was, at least she didn't have to constantly hear she was crazy.

Years bouncing from place to place, living hand to mouth, was rough but honest in a way she hadn't realized she'd craved. She could have stopped in any city, got a steady job, gone to college, settled on a career. But the door to that life had slammed shut when she was a child, perhaps had never been open in the first place. And she liked the blue-collar work, liked the way people's eyes slid over her as she flipped their burgers or mopped their floors or sold them lottery tickets. She liked to work, and she liked even better her employer's casual dismissal. If you did a good job, there was no reason for your boss to talk to you. And Jesse always did a good job.

The silence was a balm to her mind, eased the ever-present strain of her circling, paranoid thoughts. Jesse did the job and the silence assured her she'd done it right.

Emily Pope didn't seem to know that silence was supposed to be Jesse's reward for a job well done.

No, Emily Pope wielded words like she _knew_ words were Objects of Power. Every compliment, every bit of praise for Jesse's work defeating the Hiss or scrounging up old research crawled across Jesse's skin. So many times, she wanted to tell Emily to _stop._ But she could never bring herself to do it and inevitably came back to her, the compass she used to orient herself in the twisted labyrinth her life had become.

In the Oldest House, time was inconsequential, as fluid and unreliable as the walls themselves, shifting at a whim, sometimes disappearing entirely. Caught up in the insidious whisper of the Hiss, the jarring, other-worldly demands of the Board, and Polaris's steady, cleansing cadence, she hadn't had any reason to focus on anything past the walls around her.

But slowly, she began to mark time by her interactions with Emily. _Emily Standard Time,_ she joked, safe in the privacy of her own mind with Polaris to guard her thoughts. 

Yesterday, Emily had smiled so brightly when Jesse finished clearing the Research Department of the Hiss. Four days ago, Emily had labeled Jesse as "the most remarkable person I've ever met". Two weeks ago, she'd actually made Emily _laugh_ and the sound haunted her still, happy and delighted and unfair in its cuteness. She'd touched Jesse's arm as she'd caught her breath, and her voice had been so pleased and teasing as she'd said, "That's the last time I dare you to do anything, _Director."_

_What the hell is her problem? It's like she was hand-crafted to be the most charming person in existence. _

Spirals ghosted across her vision in a kaleidoscope of soothing, cool blue, brought with it a faint trace of pleasure, encouragement.

_No arguments there, I guess._

No matter the thrill of the fight or the fantastical sights she witnessed, when it was all over she always found her thoughts drifting to her Head of Research.

 _I'm sure there's no significance behind that,_ Jessie thought, slamming a chunk of concrete into a Hiss-corrupted trooper. 

Hours or days later, she wasn't sure, Jesse arrived at the Control Point in the Executive Sector. She had work to discuss, but she was the Director, too. So she spoke with Arish first, got his initial reports, then went to her office to read the ones waiting for her from Langston, skimming the long-winded, rambling bits until she ascertained the Panopticon hadn't had any recent breakouts. 

Dylan was the same as ever when she went to visit him, looking a little more human with his hair growing out and a little less likely to ever wake with every day that passed. Jesse tried not to let it get to her, held his hand and talked to him the way she usually only did with Polaris. He probably couldn't hear her, but there was always a chance, no matter how small. And she liked the thought that he might wake up and she wouldn't be a stranger to him. She'd talk till her throat was raw if she could make that happen.

After that, there was nothing left to do but go to the board room and touch base with Emily. Her steps were a little quicker than usual and she didn't bother trying to repress the happiness that unfurled in her chest. Emily simply brought that out of her and in a place where everyone's motivations were as carefully guarded as the Oldest House itself, she took her few confidantes where she could.

"Jesse," Emily greeted with a smile, looking up from her notes. She set aside her folder and uncrossed her legs as she leaned forward in her seat. Her blue eyes searched Jesse with familiar curiosity. "I'm glad to see you're okay. How is it out there? Any better?"

"We're getting there," Jesse told her. "I'm seeing less Hiss, but they're still popping up, even in places I've already cleared. We're going to have to hold out a little longer."

"Of course," Emily agreed straightaway. She took up her notes and leaned back in her chair as she began notating their meeting. "The fact that we're making progress at all is incredibly reassuring, Jesse. I don't know if you've talked to Arish, but they've secured some more HRA's from Research. At this point, it's too late for anyone who doesn't have one, but having backups for our field agents will make a world of difference."

"Yeah, Arish told me. I'm just worried they won't have time to put on another HRA before the Hiss gets to them." Jesse knew personally how swiftly the Hiss exploited a weak point. At least _she_ had Polaris. But Arish and his men? The rangers? A small crack, and the Hiss would have them.

"A good point." Emily's gaze was thoughtful as she wrote. "With extra HRA's, we now have the option of studying them more closely. Without Darling's research, we'll have to start from scratch, but it would be worthwhile to look into developing a more compact prototype."

She had the best Head of Research. Satisfied, Jesse rose from her seat. Already, she was feeling a restless energy buzzing along the surface of her skin, craving more work, more Hiss to destroy; she didn't know what she was going to do with herself when this was finally over. 

"Make it your top priority. I know you'll have to slow down your research on the Hiss, but having a failsafe is worth it."

"Of course, Jesse."

"I'll be in the Black Rock Quarry," Jesse told her, rotating her shoulder. "I think I'm getting close to figuring out how to deal with these Astral Spikes."

They still gave her _breath-taking_ headaches when they came too close, but she'd learned she could affect them, slightly, when she used her powers on them similar to a Control Point, like a cleansing. A strange, uncomfortable ripple would pass through them, as if its core was being morphed into a new shape. She hadn't gotten anywhere past that point before it resurged back into the offensive, but it was still progress. It was _something._

That was more than clear from Emily's expression, eyes wide and lips parted in mute surprise.

"You are?" A warm, excited smile stretched Emily's lips. "That's—incredible! Take notes," she stressed passionately. "The spikes are so unstable, I _never_ imagined we could do anything other than contain them..." She trailed off, then shook her head ruefully. "Every time I think you can't impress me even more, you always find a way, Jesse. I shudder to think where we'd all be if Polaris hadn't brought you to us." It was worse, somehow, the way Emily paired every compliment with that transparently happy, warm smile; she'd take Underhill's barely-veiled disparages any day. "Tell her thank you for me."

Jesse blinked as that warmth in her chest seemed to spread, as insidious as the Hiss but soft and soothing where the Hiss was sharp and devastating. Emily's blue eyes watched Jesse back with a steady, easy sincerity, so free of deceit or artifice Jesse wasn't sure what to do with her, with _herself._ She'd never met anyone quite like Emily, she was slowly realizing.

Mouth dry, Jesse said, "Yeah. I will." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has super amazing time management skills! Not me! lololol Hey, Beau, love how I'm a super big fat liar??? XDDD
> 
> But this should be the only time I post a chapter a day late!!! If I do it again, you guys have my blessing to hire a hitman. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Jesse's mind kept going back to the new project with the HRAs. The potential of having troopers equipped with ones that were more compact and easy to conceal would take their tactical strategies to the next _level,_ and she wanted that.

If someone told Jesse she'd have to eradicate every trace of the Hiss single-handedly, she'd roll up her sleeves and get to work. But Arish was getting antsy, the Rangers even _more_ so. Jesse wasn't the only adrenaline junkie, after all, and having a team to help her clear out the Hiss—well, she'd heard more than a few people reminiscing fondly about the sun. She'd like to give everyone their lives back, the sooner the better.

However, Jesse was no academic. She'd have to defer to her team to figure out what she could do to help, although she could guess. Collecting more prisms from the Quarry, for sure, and just the thought of dodging Astral Spikes as she worked made anticipation hum just beneath her skin. 

Research, too. There was only so much Emily and her team could guess by dissecting a spare HRA, and somewhere amidst Darling's tornado explosion of discarded paperwork, there had to be _something._

That was all the convincing Jesse needed to head over to the Research Sector. Dr. Darling's side of the office was so messy it made Jesse reflexively check for traces of the Hiss, of torn concrete and red light in the corner of her vision. 

_Which one, which one,_ she wondered, fingertips brushing over manilla folders stacked haphazardly and clusters of hastily pasted sticky notes, crammed with tiny, nearly-illegible hand-writing and more of those strange cube designs she'd seen on nearly every terminal in the Oldest House. 

Jesse gave it the good old college try—for a few seconds. But a headache quickly bloomed behind her eyes just from the effort of trying to make sense of Darling's notes. 

_Screw it. If Emily wants specific notes, she'll have to draw me a picture or something._

At random, Jesse grabbed a handful of folders, skimmed through a big red binder long enough to see the word 'resonance,' and decided it was good enough. 

Heading back to Executive with a plan of attack put an extra skip in her step—which only meant the Hiss's sudden arrival was as shittily timed as ever. 

Jesse scowled, taking to the air as she did a quick headcount, lips tightening into a firm frown to see the faster ones from the Foundation—

_What were they called again?_

—rapidly closing in. In the time it took Jesse to fire her Service Weapon, three more were rushing her way, bodies jerking erratically, wicked-sharp axes dangling from their hands. One of the Hiss let one fly and Jesse _barely_ dodged it in time.

_Sharpened. Right._

It was a challenge she hadn't faced yet, battling multiple Hiss while trying to protect paperwork, but not too difficult—although there was one heart-stopping moment when a Charged snuck up on her and only a well-timed warning from Polaris had her dodging in time.

 _The research!_ Jesse thought, clutching the folders closer as she fired her gun. _That was WAY too close. Thank you._

As much as she wanted to bypass the Hiss and get the research safely away, she also knew that every Hiss she destroyed now got her one step closer to finally opening the Oldest House. She _couldn't_ ignore them, even if it put the paperwork in danger.

_You want a fight? Fine. Come and get it._

There was no way to tell how long she spent destroying Hiss; they cropped up like parasites, dropping in shafts of bleeding, oversaturated light the moment she thought she was done. Thank god for Polaris, boosting her back up when she started to feel the drain, the pull of exhausted muscles from launching across ledges, the strain in her arms from firing again and again and holding what felt like fifty _pounds_ of paper all the while.

Jesse didn't stop firing until the only sound she could hear was her own panting and the ringing, electric silence that pounded in her ears whenever she was fresh from a fight. She lingered, eyes narrowed against any possible threat, before she finally judged the area clear. Luckily, the Control Point wasn't far and she popped over to Central Executive in the time it took to blink.

The moment she saw Emily, that same rush of happiness came over her, although she restrained herself from displaying it so plainly on her face. Still, a small smile tugged on her lips as she approached Emily, studious as ever, pouring over a few different piles of paperwork.

Not yet noticed, Emily glanced up to one of her assistants at the whiteboard.

"...Please tell me you aren't 'dressing' the backdrop again."

"Um—"

"Emily."

"Jesse!" Emily straightened, a bright smile on her face. "How was the Quarry? Any progress with the Astral Spikes?" She quickly grabbed the nearest clipboard, pen poised over the paper to take down anything Jesse might say.

There was something endearing about the action that made Jesse smile just a bit more. She swallowed a laugh as she spoke.

"Actually, I couldn't stop thinking about this new project with the HRAs. I brought some stuff from Darling's office," she continued with a shrug. She set the heavy stack of paperwork and folders on the table and stretched her arm as she straightened. "Not sure if any of it's actually _helpful,_ but I figured it was better than nothing until you could point me in the direction. Besides, if anyone's gonna make sense of this stuff, it's you."

"Oh!" Emily paused, clearly taken aback, but she recovered quickly. She set aside her binder and grabbed the top-most file. Her blue eyes skimmed the thick lines of text like she was starved for the words. "I—yes! This is _very_ helpful. Oh my god, and it looks like it's even before he had a chance to redact a significant portion of it—!"

Emily seemed to visibly pull herself away, an act of intense struggle, and her expression was Jesse's favorite: pure, all-encompassing joy, the one she always got when she came across some new paranatural phenomenon to study.

"I— _thank you,_ Jesse, I'll get to work on this immediately." Emily shook her head. "I know this just seems like a bunch of boring gibberish, but having this takes out a lot of the guesswork." 

"Glad I could help. I'll try to grab some more the next time I'm in Research."

"Would you?!" Emily looked ready to burst from excitement.

"Yeah," Jesse answered, full-on smiling now. She decided she didn't care about being transparent. Not around Emily, at least. "No problem."

"If I believed in that sort of thing, I'd say you were god-sent, Jesse. While the circumstances weren't ideal," Emily admitted, "I know I've said it before, but you're the best thing that ever happened to the Bureau. If there's anything I can do to help, _please,_ just let me know."

Jesse stared. A creeping, familiar warmth was seeping into her chest, as molten and all-consuming as lava—and just as dangerous.

"Y-yeah. I'll...keep that in mind, Emily. Thank you."

"Thank you," Emily said brightly, smiling. Jesse beat a hasty retreat, trying and failing not to feel like she was running away.

_How does she DO that?_

From the moment they'd met, Emily had shown that she had no problem just— _saying_ these things without any shame, any self-consciousness, not so much as a _hint_ of derision.

_What does Emily see when she looks at me? Really?_

It was a question she'd asked herself countless times, one that seemed to come up more and more as time passed by and Emily didn't falter in what seemed to be her self-appointed mission to compliment Jesse within an inch of her life, not once.

The role as Director had felt like an ill-fitting coat, at first. She'd walked into this big, impossible building ready for anything, trusting Polaris was finally ready to help her find her brother. The Bureau had made her draw a line in the sand, _Us versus Them,_ but their plight became hers and the longer she lingered, grew stronger and surer of herself, being called Director stopped chafing so much, started to feel _good._

The last thing she'd expected was to find a sense of belonging by coming here, but being Director had given her that. But Emily...she didn't talk to Jesse like a subordinate. Half the time, Jesse _forgot_ she was the Director when she was with Emily, and that—that kept her from lingering around Emily more than anything. 

Because sometimes, Jesse would _swear_ Emily looks at her like she's more than just the Director, and Jesse doesn't know how to deal with that. 

Dumb, loner kid. The unstable, crazy girl. The silent, weird janitor, and now, The Director.

She's never been more than the role she's been given. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved Emily practically from the get-go, but when she reprimanded one of the bureau people right after Jesse appointed her as Head of Reserach? LOLLLLL Emily is #goalssss


End file.
